Tag Archives: Todd Misura

Daylight Review

Hallways

As a fan of survival horror titles, I was initially confused about Daylight. I heard about Daylight and Dying Light at the same time, and ever since then they have been confused in my mind. I knew that one had zombies in it and the other was made by Zombie. Sadly, after beating the story in less than 2 hours I can attest that I will always remember which game is Daylight is.
Zombie, the studio behind Blacklight: Retribution</em) has created a rogue-like first person horror title. It starts with Sarah waking up in the foyer of an abandoned place. All you have to guide you in the beginning is your cell phone, until you reach a bag full of glow sticks. Thinking about it now, it seems that maybe a rave occurred here and that's how the glow sticks are everywhere, but there really doesn’t seem to be any real rhyme or reason for their presence. This is the crux of my issue with Daylight.
With most of the many things that you learn, experience, and explore there is no reason for it to be there, nothing that ties it down and gives it a real cause for existing. The notes are interesting at first, and the enemies too, until you realize what they are. The Shadows give away the plot more than anything else, and as you learn about the place and people who inhabited the island the plot becomes terribly transparent. The writer had good intentions but ultimately failed in executing the plan. I know that as a rogue like there are supposed to be different clues and bits of the story involved, but I can’t do it. For me, there is no longer any reason to explore. The plot makes no sense, even at the end where all is revealed. If anything, it becomes cheap and hokey when you realize what the plot entails. There’s no real explanation for why or what occurs, it just happens. The last three sections are difficult to figure out where or what to do, and in several levels there are no clues.
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There’s no way around it: Daylight looks horrible. It’s the first Unreal 4 game to be commercially released and it looks awful. I’m running an AMD 3.8 Quad Core with an Nvidia GTX 470 with the graphic settings set to medium. I currently have screenshots posted throughout the review, and I want you to guess which ones are mine using Steam. There are bugs and glitches that occur randomly. Once I ended up having to reboot the game after I fell through the game box. There is little to no interactivity within the game world outside of searchable containers. Objects that are placed will not move unless dictated by the developers. The emergence of a new engine shouldn’t be static environments, but areas full of movable objects and the like.

The basic requirements for clearing each level or area are finding six articles related to what happened in the past, finding a key, and escaping. That’s it. The game is basic in its mechanics, the devs needed gameplay to extend the play through and it just wasn’t there.
Flare lighting
There are certain things that should and shouldn’t be done in a survival horror game. Unfortunately I feel that Zombie has done everything that shouldn’t be done. Cheap jump scares, empty and boring rooms and hallways, and a blah feeling is present in almost every interior setting. The one exterior setting at the very end is interesting, but you have to rush through it so quickly you can’t explore it much. Sarah doesn’t speak much, and when she does it doesn’t fit most of the time.
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Divergence: Erotic tales from a Different angle

So, I completed my short story collection and its been submitted. I’m scared to death about it because I have to now start thinking of a cover, and marketing my book. I think that the tales themselves will be able to sell the book, but its not normal erotica.

When I write, and I mean really write, my stories take common threads and add a twist to them. I’ll give you an example. When I started writing Edgewater, my novel it starts off like a neo-noir action novel. You have a drunk whose seen some shit, and a local cop willing to salvage the man inside the drunk. But what happens after several chapters is anything but normal.

I can’t just sit by and watch the same shitty stories be told over and over again. I have to put my twist to them, my take on the classical genre or tropes. I’m not being egotistical, I’m being honest.

And while most authors want to hide the erotica they make for a quick buck… I’m not. I’m not writing erotica for a quick sell. Because while my stories do have sex, first and foremost they are story driven. I think that the older I get, the more I understand that stories are everything and everything is stories. Its something that Harry Crews said once in a movie. The search for the wrong eyed Jesus, is a film about a British man trying to find more music like an album he was given once. The documentary takes us from the creepy swamps of Florida to the Appalachian Mountains of West Virginia. But I discovered an awesome author in this film, Harry Crews.

But I’m getting off topic here. I just want to say that I’ll announce new details about my book when I get a chance, and have more details to write about. At this time though, I’m gonna game and start figuring out my next writing goal.

I really don’t have a title, and I just have a few things to share. I’m on an anti-smoking med, and I’m going to quit smoking. I also have been having a rough time with my bisexuality and my needs. And I don’t know how to put words to screen. I’m a little lost.

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I need the bondage and D/S even more all of a sudden. It bothers me how badly I need it.

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I also submitted a short story collection of alternative erotica. Waiting to hear back.

Story ideas, or how I create.

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Sometimes I have ideas pop into my head that are born from the ether, sometimes its photos. The stories that pop into my mind are random, violent, sexy, or even slow burns. I have ideas that I’ll never flesh out, some I will.

Other times, I listen to podcasts and they formulate stories for me. I was listening to The Paracast and JC Johnson talking about his recent cases in the American South West. And I was thinking of another story Id written ages ago.

And now I have an idea for a story. Probably not a novel, but its something. The more I write, the more I realize that I love the short story or novelette idea. I can get my idea out, and there is a new market for them in ebooks and anthologies. Because print books are slowly dying, short stories are making a come back.

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And I like the idea that they are. It is an artform that has lost meaning and practice in America. With our faster paced society, we have less time and short stories are great for that. It fufills the want to read, and it usually doesn’t take much time.

So, back to creation. I think most of my ideas are born from outside of me. The other worlds I’ve seen and experienced. Not fan-fiction, but taking archetypes and finding a twist and making it my own. We are all influenced by the media we ingest and enjoy. Games or books, television shows or movies, all inspire us.

You will never see me writing hack shit. Never. Maybe some bad writing here and there, but never hack.

The other place my ideas come from is me. Emotional states, memories, and things I’ve seen all spur me on to write. Some fiction, some non-fiction.

But at the end of the day? Ideas come from the strangest places.

And I like that.

The struggle

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The struggle I face is multifacited. Its my bisexuality and bondage attraction. Its my everyday life. Its many things. Its my acceptance of being bi and loving what I call Intimate Bondage. Its the struggle with money, time, and family. Its everything that stresses me out, either momentarily or constantly.

But underneath it all, I’ll be ok. And I don’t need domme’d to know this. I think people are noticing me and my writings again. I know that my photography and writings will get me somewhere. My family is safe and warm. I have a job.

But its the struggle to maintain a balance that bothers me. Because I need duality, balance, and chaos all at the same time. Its strange to know I find peace in the blindfold squeezing around my head, and the quiet inner calm that fills me.

I’m dead serious when I say that being blindfolded, bound, and domme’d breaks me free from my struggle with the everyday. See, people are actually all sheeple. We all conform to a set of laws and regulations everywhere.

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Or we press against the wall afraid of an emu.

Publicly we obey the government and laws governing us. We follow the traffic laws, and laws about violent behavior. We wait impatiently in the pharmacy line without slitting the person giving everyone a detailed description of their sex life.

Privately we follow the rules and regulations of relationships. Between friendships, marriages, and other interactions we conform. Some people you can’t talk about cars or UFOs. Some people you can’t fart around.

We all conform into little boxes of neatness to present ourselves right.

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Even if its just wearing a shitty meme shirt.

And while we all know this, we need reminded of it. Because of people like me, and maybe you, we make the world. We make it revolve and change. The normal people, the ones who lost, do too. While they plug away at their shitty job and shitty life we carry on.

We bring the struggle to the front. We dye our hair crazy colors. We peirce our nipples or get tattoos. We stick out. On purpose.

Because we all have something to share. It might be limited like my interests, but I have things to say. Maybe they’ll be heard, maybe not. But I’m gonna say them. Because they need said.

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Sometimes we all need to let go.

A year or so ago, I thought about making my own church, “Todds church of not an asshole”.
And I realized that while people might listen, they wouldn’t get it. They wouldn’t understand that I was talking about them. So, I moved on from that brain fart.

But while my religious views are different, the principles are the same. Do as little harm as you travel through life. Its that simple.

But simplicity in a struggle, especially internal is never simple. Because I have to take the time and balance things internally so the external me can function. Because I was raised religious I rebel against myself and who I am. I accept my faults and blessings. But the struggle to maintain paradigm is difficult. And by expressing my bi wants/needs and my D/S/Bondage needs I am doing it.

I am balancing the struggles.

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Hoky hell Robin! All thats missing is Kirk!

But Id love it if I could get some feedback on my posts. I have little to no self esteem. I have no faith most of the time in me.

So, I leave you all with this thought: how do you fight the struggle? The daily and the extraordinary ones?

(NSFW) The curve

 

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As I think and move along the path of being a married bi male, I find myself thinking of something that Sunstone, and my wife brought up last night. The curve. The curve is when you no longer take the pleasure from the bondage or D/S, and keep pushing forward. Bigger, better, hotter ideas that force  you to push yourself and your limits. Not just your limits, but the limits of your partner. And that curve is dangerous for you and your partner(s). The curve will break you or make you, and its important to be aware of that curve. I’ve not reached that curve, nor have I pushed my wife to that curve. But now that she’s reminded me of the curve I am going to keep and eye out for it. Because I need my wife. She is my love, my best friend. She has been there for me when everyone else has faded or died. She is the one. 

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But as i contemplate the curve, I realize that while i don’t need Domme’d or bondage every time we have sex, I want it. I need it. Crave it in so many ways. But love making is important too. Don’t stop thinking about the pure aspect of sex, of love making. Expressing love and need physically. We need this, and like my wife said… she can’t domme me every time. I agree, and i have come to realize when exactly I need the Domme/bondage. Its when my everyday life is out of control and I feel that everything is out of control. I use the high, the intimacy of bondage to break free of the pain, the frustrations. 

See, bondage is different for everyone. Some use it as the only way to get off, some like I do, others need the pain and terror to feel alive. As I grow and become more and more comfortable in my skin, in my needs, I understand.

I understand the bondage, and the bisexuality.

Its who I am. The curve won’t happen if I keep my eye out for it,

But as I understand questions arise. Things pop into my mind. Fantasy or need? Want or have?

It is those questions that bother me, make me scared for myself. Not that I would do something stupid, so fucking stupid, like cheating. I’m not that type. Things have happened in the past that might have lead to it, but I never acted upon them in a manner that would destroy my relationship with my wife. Because of the bisexuality that we share, she does understand where I stand on my questions. Of the need for a same sex partner or not. Of the moments of feeling like I’m the most disturbing motherfucker in the world because of my needs, my wants.

But I’m normal. There are some things that are not normal, and those people need shot. Then burned, stabbed, and left to heal and done to again. Unless they like it. Then just kill them. And in my realization of my normality I take comfort from knowing that this is just part of me. This below is something that I find hot. 

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There are times that I wonder what my limit could or would be. I know that my limit isn’t the same as my fantasy limits. In my head thinking of naughty things I want done to me its safe. In the real world the smallest thing could trigger a panic. So while I want to push forward, see what we can do together I want to expand in some ways. The bondage is new to us, in my craving and need for it being accepted by me. See, my wife knew I was a switch and bi before I did. She is pure Domme, and what I need.

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As a switch my mind wanders, from wanting domme’d by Amanda to wanting to dom a man. I’d dom the right guy so hard its not even funny. But with the right guy I want to be dom/domme’d. But I could never dom my wife. I can’t do that to women. 

And as I delve deeper into the different aspects of FemDom, submissive males, and what not I realize that I am different from most. I love rope bondage, I love being domme’d hard. I love the idea of domming a man hard. But the pain, the cringe worthy things that people do bother me. For me, there is a difference between being domme’d hard and being hurt. The form of domme’d and bondage I need are more intimate forms of it. i want to be domme’d by her in ways that expel both our frustrations and stress, not just mine. Amanda the other night surprised me. She’s domme’d me before, and damn well.

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But she was getting turned on by it. I could hear her breathe deeper, erratically. I could sense her arousal at me being domme’d and loving it. She was turned on by my captivity. I’ve known for awhile that she is a Domme, but she came into her own right then. She did things that she’d never done before, and I wanted her to push me. Push me to limits, but as a Sub I couldn’t ask without ruining what I needed from her. So, afterwards we talked about what was awesome, what I wanted and need. 

And to me, that is a way to avoid the curve. Talk, discuss, work together. Because I want to never see the curve. That is the goal, well besides some really hot orgasms. To express and show our affection through the B/D/S, and every day life. Right now in our real lives things are insanely busy, crazy. It sucks, but we deal with it and make things as best as we can. But I have a few ideas in the next few months to make things better, make her smile. But, for now I’m gonna go think about some stuff. 

And I’m gonna avoid that Curve, that off the rails moment when things go crazy because the need to be domme’d. 

 

But god damn being domme’d and dom’d would be fucking hot.

Rope bites (NSFW)

I want to feel the rope bites on my skin. I want to feel the indentations of the nylon rope left on my flesh. The muscles relaxing from the arching and struggling against them.

I want to be tied up and toyed with by my wife and a man. And this is perfectly normal. My needs are rational and good for me.

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The bindings are a release. They take the pain and frustrations away. They let me feel good about myself. In my every day life I feel frustrated, angry, hurt. I feel like no one understands me outside of a handful of people. The world doesn’t understand my interests inside and out of the bedroom. We live in a conservative state, with crazy people that think god is the only thing that’ll save us.

And as I move through this life and world I inhabit, my mind is filled with thoughts of gaming, aliens, pagan thoughts. My mind floats to my bisexuality and needs. It floats towards topics I can’t speak of out loud.

And I’m ok with this. I’m a bi male who is a switch. I’ve only ever been with my wife, but god damn do I think about domming some guys. Maybe being dominated by a few too.

But I want the rope bites. I want to feel the fabric pull against my flesh. To free me. To free my heart. And unless you know anything about D/S and bondage this is alien to you.

Welcome to my world. I feel like an alien in yours. You don’t think like I do, what I do.

And that’s normal too. See, deep down between the bisexuality and switching if I get a chance… I feel embarassed and self concious about me. I feel like I have nothing to be ashamed of yet, feel shame. I feel normal in my needs and wants of both sexes. For my needs are normal. For me. But society has filtered our perceptions of right and wrong. We all know those filters, and how they exist. But I struggle with them, daily. And I know in my heart of hearts I have nothing to be ashamed of. But the needs feel too alien, for my upbringing. Yet they are so simple.

I need my wife, my domme. I need a man to dom. It comes down to duality. I crave duality more than anything, for it balances me. And in my public mask, I act normal and like the rest of you. Behind that mask is me. We all wear masks. We all hide ourselves from the world and ourselves.

And that is normal too. See, sex is normal. It’s nature. And while animals don’t put emotional, moral, and social values on sexuality… Humans do. Its the backbone of our society and its workings. And while sex is a backbone of our culture, love is an enigma.

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Love exists. Many people base their adult lives around it. Some are “vanilla” in the expression of their love. Others like me express it differently. And as I love my wife I need things that thankfully she’s ok with. But love exists and is different. Mine involves rope bites, blindfolds, and bisexual thoughts.

The rope bites into the flesh as I struggle physically and feel my Heart soar free.