Tag Archives: Submissive

Done with D/S, maybe for good.

I’m done with D/S with my wife, my Domme. I don’t know if it’s for ever or if its temporary.

It’s my choice, not hers. I’m still deeply in love with her, its just that she doesn’t know how to Domme me. I’m not even going to try and explain it. Nor am I on the look out for replacement. I’m done with D/S.

I needed Domme’d more often than she realized, could do for me. Its not even an angry time. Just a soft, introspective time.

I’m also done trying to find my man, my hero. I’m just done. I’ll stand by my wife in her endeavors if it hasn’t collapsed.

Right now I’m not even upset. Just making a really strange and supposedly difficult life choice. Yet for me, its simple. I’m not finding what I need, what I’m looking for. So I’m going to stop looking. Stop trying to achieve what is improbable right now

Sunstone is perfect (NSFW topics)

I am a strange creature, sexually and emotionally. I crave to be dominated and toyed with in the bedroom, but in my real life I need to have control over everything. I need to have my responsibilities and respect. But even then its strange. With my wife Amanda bondage play is where I am dominated, where I submit to the machinations and ideas of my wife. Yet, I know that in a male relationship I would be the dominate one. And I’m trying to puzzle this out now.

I feel that when my wife is in control and I am submitting to her I can be who I really am. There is no greater pleasure than being blindfolded and tied to where I cannot control my physical reactions to her touch, her lips, her tongue. We don’t get too insane only because we don’t have the time or space, for now.

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But I started reading Sunstone after she showed it to me, and I want to explore the S/M a bit more, on a deeper level. I know as a submissive she would push me to my limits but not break me, and all the while we’d be having fun. I love being tied up and played with. The pinching and biting driving me insane, the whole shebang is just… Me. What I crave, what I need.

And as a bisexual male, I’m a stranger creature. A stranger being than just a submissive heterosexual male. I crave strong women in my life, knowing them as a friend and with my wife as a lover and provider of my darkest desires. See, I know women are stronger than they are allowed to show. I know what our world has done to them. It’s no wonder that in the end, the male and female dom/sub relationship is stranger than any of us can imagine. It’s how we have the male fans of nut cracking. Its how we have women who professionally work as a dominatrix, and have male and female sub-missives begging them to mold them.

I never really put much thought into my bisexuality until a year or so ago, and I know that while we are happily married, I get curious off and on what it would be like with a man. What “vanilla” sex would be like with a him, and the dominating aspects of S/M. There is nothing hotter to me than seeing well done erotic pictures of a man tied and blind folded, being touched, fucked, and toyed with. 

But, once again, I am a strange creature. I’m happily married and not searching for my handsome nerdy man. I’ve been writing off and on stories and vignettes of erotic fiction A) because I need to post them as an e-book to make some sales, B) I can safely explore the darker side of my sexual needs. 

So, after finding Sunstone, I plan on downloading a game I just purchased and working on Figure 8, my real S/M short story. Its different, because its a woman as the main, and I want her to come out right. So, once again my wonderful editor Amanda will be helping me on this one. 

But as I read Sunstone I can’t but help feel strange, feel abnormal. But I don’t care. For being a bisexual man isn’t easy. Our society puts constraints and punishes bisexuals because its stranger than being just straight or just gay. It’s a mixture of both, and people need clearly defined lines. But I don’t care, its a part of who I am. It’s what I need, what I want, crave. And by being me, I can feel better about myself and the world I live in. I can be a damn good father, husband, friend, and worker. 

But one thing sticks out, damn do I love being blindfolded and played with.Image