Shamans and bonds

I as a shaman, have had to come to terms with things inside and outside of me in the last year or two. I’ve wrestled with the fact that I’m a happily married bi-sexual man. That some people no matter how much you love and talk to them will not understand until they are ready to hear a truth. I’ve questioned my abilities as a shaman and as a spiritual being.

I’ve also had real world concerns like money, work, ect. While having to balance out the spiritual and emotional. And since I’ve started thinking long and hard about all of the things outlined I’ve become more of myself.

We struggle and fight with ourselves on a daily basis, and we also struggle with how others perceived us. Now, with these things rolling around our heads that’s a lot to consider. But on top of that we have everyday things to consider too. As a shaman I have to balance things correctly so I feel centered and in control. I have to find the right balance of family, work, play, and developing my abilities.

Lately I haven’t been able to. Work and home life have taken control of my day to day life. I don’t have down time even when I have some of it. Me and my wife don’t. Its frustrating and upsetting.

But bonds are made and broken by the smallest things. Bonds between people and connections are finicky things. But the bonds we make and destroy are part of life. I know certain bonds I need to break: smoking, allowing frustrating things rule my day ect…

But once solid bonds are formed they are hard to break. So I’m trying to keep an eye on my smoking ect. But its difficult when you have panic attacks and easy coping mechanisms exist.

So I turn to my shaman roots. I’m trying to form a therapy for myself and its not working. So the cycle continues.

I once had a tarot card reading that said my downfall will be continuing the cycle of what I’m doing. I’m trying to break that… but it seems set in stone.

So fellow readers… do you want my help? Do you want my knowledge to help you? Because by helping you I help myself. By seeing you improve I do too.

But there are two rules.

1. You listen when I speak. You don’t have to follow me to the letter, but listen to me.

2. No payments. Gifts are fine, but only if you deem me worthy. And if you do, it has to be heartfelt.

So. If you want my hand to help me, contact me here or @seekingparadigm on Twitter. My email is widely available too.

May you grow and share with others.

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