Crazy woods stories
When I was growing up in Florida, we didn’t have woods, we had a few trees here and there. It was Orlando, Florida so its excusable. So when we moved to Ohio, and we moved into the boonies, it was a shock to see everything from yards to woods. Think overgrown woods for as far as the eye could see. And the woods behind my great grand mothers’ property was full of strange and exciting things to find and explore. I remember that there was a perfect circle almost of May apple plants (and now that I know snakes loved em I’m even more freaked out I and my brothers played in it), and the old beat to hell cars that were dragged to the woods over the years. But the things we found to do in the woods ranged from climbing the old growth grape vines that littered the woods to digging up old medicine bottles. But here’s a small list of things we found.
A dark blue and trapeze shaped bottle that was probably for poison
Miscellaneous bottles of medicine with dried fluid in them
Dead animal bones
I have a memory of us swinging from the grapevines like Tarzan, and one in particular stands out. Jacob, the middle brother was swinging and bopped his head off the tree. You know the sound Lawrence Welk used to make when he’d pop his finger out of his mouth? My brothers head made that sound. Me and Charley started laughing hysterically as my brother wrapped his arms around his head and slammed into two or three more trees. He ran home, a good quarter mile, while me and Charley were literally losing our minds over the sound his head made. We knew it wasn’t good, and he could be seriously hurt, but god damn that sound was funny. I’m trying not to laugh as I write this, but damn if I’m not smirking.
Of course when we got home we were in trouble for laughing, and we were grounded getting Jacob hurt, but we deserved it.
But I remember when me and one of my best friend from high school were dicking around in the woods. We were waiting for another friend to get off of work so we could film a project for Humanities. We decided to just walk in the woods, and we found a house out in the middle of nowhere. This house had looked like it was old, and there was graffiti all over it. The usual stuff, but as we walked around the house, something felt off. We didn’t have a camera with us, but I remember it being kinda cold around the house but warm away from it. But the house was a two story house that had small windows and it was pitch black inside, and it was tan in color. I knew something was off about the house, and me and my friend got out of there. We told the friend we were waiting for about it, and he thought it would be kick ass to visit. So even though it was fubared, we headed back to it.
We followed our tracks, to the letter, and when we got to the house it was gone. Utterly gone except for the foundation. That freaked us out, but it’s what we heard later that really made our hair stand up. We started asking around about the house, and we learned that it had burned down, and that people going in the woods would find it, then go back to find it gone. So it wasn’t just us…
The woods in the county I live in now are full of strange and downright freaky shit. I’ve seen trees that in the winter are warm to the touch and no snow would stick around it. But the woods near the mobile home me and my family lived in had some spooky shit too.
I remember one night, in the early part of fall, me and my brothers were dicking around in the woods again, but it was close to the house. The sun was setting, and it was getting really chilly. We started rolling towards home, when we heard it. Keep in mind the woods we were in had cattle in it sometimes, as the landlord had a shit ton of property to let his cows roam on. The sound was of cattle stampeding.
Me and my brothers started running along hill, instead of down it because of the thick underbrush that was near the barb wire fence that was near our house. We had to go along the hill to where the landlords TV antenna stood, then hop the wooden fence. But as we ran, there was a dust cloud headed our way, and we were freaking out hardcore. The next thing we knew, this thick dust cloud with the sound of cattle stampeding was surrounding us. We froze, the three of us next to each other, and it was over. But there were no cattle, no hoof prints, nothing. Just the sound and the dust cloud receding down the hill, and it dispersed. We freaked the fuck out, and ran home. I rushed to the landlord who was walking back from the barn and told him about what happened. He stared at me, and finally spoke.
“There was a stampede years ago. You witnessed the memory of it.”
I stood there, in awe and terror. He just walked home, as if it was normal.
In the same woods, past the old barn there was miles of woods, going up an incline. It wasn’t particularly steep one, but it was a trek. I remember one day I had a wild bug up my ass to go as far as I could in the woods, and I set off around 3pm. I told my parents I was going for a walk in the woods, but not where. So I set off. I eventually got past the farthest point I’d gone before, and went a bit further. This memory is hazy from what happened, but I remember it enough…
I knew the sun was going down soon, but I wanted to press on, and I eventually came to a strange spot in the woods. There was about a hundred trees in a rough square shape that were about two feet apart, and these tree’s were weird. They were about three inches in diameter, and only had a few branches on them before they petered out. This is where it gets strange. I was walking among them, freaked out because they seemed to be planted purposely out in the middle of nowhere like this. The next thing I remember is a flash of brown or black, of a dress, and blanking out for a bit.
That blank spot was me running home. I remember like I was waking up from a dream, while running full tilt boogy. Where I was, in that fucked up spot in the trees was a good two hour trek, even at a good clip. I remember running up to the porch, half screaming and crying to find my parents yelling for me. I remember looking at my watch and realizing that it took maybe ten minutes, fifteen tops, to run home. My parents were freaked out because mom was convinced something happened to me in the woods and they were getting ready to start looking/yelling for me. My brothers were off somewhere else that night, but she knew I was in danger.
I don’t remember much, just the flash of a dark brown or black dress and maybe a hand on mine in that copse of trees. I’m not sure I want to remember, but it comes to mind off and on. But the biggest issue is how I ran what took two hours to get to in the first place fifteen minutes on the way back.
So yeah, those are some woods stories. I have more, but that’s enough for now. I’m kinda freaked and trying to figure out if I want to remember that last one 😦
Crazy woods stories