The lost memory

About seven years ago, my mother passed away unexpectedly. She doing dishes after lunch and collapsed on the floor, and my bother gave her CPR until the paramedics got there 20mins later. She was DOA, and my life has never been the same. 

I went to Tennessee to take care of her and her estate, and my two younger brothers. I got everything that I could settled, and went home. I got the life insurance payment and bought a car, and at the the time I had no job. I decided since I had a car I could do papers. I live in the heart of Amish Country in Ohio, in Holmes County. Its farmland and four wheelers out here. 😦

On the first night that I was supposed to learn my route, I rode with an other paper guy. He was strange, and in some ways freaky. He spoke in the third person, never saying “I” but Mikey, his name.

I was excited to ride with him when i learned that his route was literally my stomping grounds in the town over when I grew up. We were half way into his route, around 2 am, when we were going up a hill that was literally less than a mile from where I lived.

At the top of the hill on the right was a rendering plant where people took animal carcasses and old livestock they couldn’t sell to make into dog food. The plant reeks of burning flesh and fats, and you can smell it even 10 miles away in the town that I live in now, on the right days. It’s a creepy, fucked up place to live near. 

We were at the bottom of the hill, and at the top there was a red light floating in the trees. I started yelling.

“What the fuck is that Mikey! I’ve lived here for years and that’s not normal!”

I looked at the clock in the car. 2:10, and I remember telling myself I wouldn’t lose time.

“Mikey don’t know! Mikey scared! Mikey pissing pants!”

We roll up the hill, getting closer, my heart is pounding and I’m scared. I’m gripping the door handle tight, and want to run. Mikey keeps driving up the road, and past the houses.

Why aren’t these Amish people looking at this! It’s lighting up the area red! What. The. Fuck. Is. That?

The next thing I know, I’m staring at the clock, 2:14. We’re about a quarter mile from the bend and this light in the trees. I see the houses next to us whip past us, Mikey is speeding towards this object.


We go around the bend, the red light filling the car, and it happens.

I wake up about two hours later, around 4:15ish, and I’m staring at the clock, and asking questions.

“What the fuck was that?”


“That red light! What the fuck was that?!”

“Mikey don’t remember red light.”

“Dude, we just passed it! How the hell is it 4am!?”

“Mikey almost done with route. Then yours.”

I literally drifted back into sleep, and about a half hour later Mikey is waking me up and we’re about to do my route. I struggle to stay awake to learn my route in the growing daylight and I forget about the light. I apparently mentioned seeing it to my wife when I got home from the route, and didn’t mention it at all.

Skip ahead a few months, and me and my wife are driving my son around trying to get him to sleep. I’m exhausted and we drive into Loudenville, and just past the industrial park there is a red flashing light.

I start breaking down, crying and I might have actually screamed. Amanda is unable to drive because of not having learned, and I pull off the road, away from the light. I’m crying and smoking, and I finally tell her about the light again. She’s listening and unable to tell me what the hell happened. We drive home, and that night she held me closer than ever. 

Then I forget about it, outside of mentioning what the hell was that off and on. Then I have memories come back, scary ones. I remember running through the woods, towards the light. I remember punching something that came out of the light. I remember how cold the area around the light was, and this was July and a warm night when it occurred. 

I forget it again, too scared to delve into this. 

Now, a few years later I’m having nightmares and freaking out about it again, and it was a bad time for me and my family. I’m not able to talk about it right now, because that hell is too hard to talk about right now.

We move, and in a new place, where I am now for a year. The second night we slept here, something happens.

At 3 am, I wake up. I’m scared, and sweaty and freaking out. I was so freaked that I turned on all the lights and checked the windows, and door to make sure it was locked. After an hour of freaking out, I go back to bed. The next few days go by and my left ear starts acting up, and my wife notices a needle hole near the ear hole. Its deep, and looks fresh. I’m freaking out, but keep it to myself and her. 

My son ends up with one in the left ear, a needle hole, a week later. 

My wife finally admits to something, that she woke up when I did that night, feeling as if something was in the apartment besides us. She was terrorfied, but didn’t bring it up for fear of being wrong. Or right.

Ever since then we’ve experienced poltergeist activity, apparitions, sounds, and other strange shit going on. About a month ago, me and Amanda woke up, feeling something over the house. I go outside, and nothing is there, but its freaky. We’ve heard a humming at night that we can’t explain and I’m starting to feel the need to explore the memory.

But this is where it gets strange. I’m not saying it was aliens, or even real. I have no clue, so I’m going to try and recover this on my own. I’m going to avoid hypnosis because of the unreliability of it. 

But do I really want to know?

Yes. Because I have a wife and children I need to protect. If it was an abduction experience or experiences that I’ve had for a short or long time, I’m going to find out.

I’m going to end it for us, if it’s occurring. I will not give up until I have the answers.


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